Friday, February 27, 2009

What is a hush puppy?

We took Joy monkey to the Fiddlin Pig to celebrate tonight. It was her very first restaraunt visit. She liked the bluegrass and loved the clogging. She made friends with a little boy outside who showed her his yugioh card collection. My advice? Do NOT let sock monkeys experiment with barbeque sauce. We had a small explosion of vinegar sauce but otherwise all went well until one of the kids mentioned hush puppies. Joy just wants to know how come the puppies are fried and why they have to hush. She hid under the table till we explained that no puppies were harmed, but we really are not sure how to explain these crispy bits of yum. There was also a new favorite- Joy monkey LOVES fried pickles.
Now home, watching Dollhouse and knitting a noro hat and casting on son #3 a Wonderful Wallaby.

Tractorz Rawk

My friends are THE BEST
Yep, more birthday bragging: I was sitting here not doing any housework, trying to decide if I should power nap or make myself some bday brownies, when a big ass box was delivered. Here is what was inside: a card from my sweet Ravelry tractor ladies, and many goodies! Carribean rum cake (ahoy!) socks for my tissues, which is funny because someone assumes we are polite enough not to blow snot on toilet paper, pirate swords, a zillion pencils from Florida (NAOMI) a 25$ gift card to Starbucks (Ya!) a love monkey magic towel, which they still fascinate me I dont care, a martooni cookie cutter, a kitteh button, organic fair trade dark chocolate pnut butter cups (woot) a crackerjack prize (cute) a big ol bag of brainy bean coffee (YUM) an adorable sock monkey project bag!!!!!!!!!!!!! two skeins of gorgeous purple yarn, two skeins of fricking peace fleece!!!!!!!!!!!!! beautiful stitch markers!!!!!!! a grow your own pirate ship, a cute monkey necklace kit and inflatable monkey! (Thesailingknitter) and these beautiful needles from the peace fleece people which I had no idea they even made needles! The topper was this fugly, awful hat. Ok, I opened the box, Im taking pictures and exclaiming to meself at each surprise, feeling like I'm OST or something (Brenda you will get that reference) just basically feeling totally spoiled, undeserving, rotten, and utterly amazed at my friends' generosity, when I get to this freaky hat. It is amazingly hideous. I'm thinking, ok I say out loud "holy crap that hat is ugly". Then I read the note from MoptopMary:
"Dear Jana, a very Happy Birthday to you. Many will tease you about your age but you need to know your not getting older your getting better. Enclosed is a sassy little something made especially for you. I call it a "Horrible Hat". When your not feeling your best and your thinking "Oh my Bob, I can't leave the house looking like this" (have you been peeking at me, Mary?) throw on this horribly ugly hat on your head and I guarantee no matter how awful you think you look all eyes will be on this hat. You can walk with the confidence of a queen wearing this stately crown. It won't matter if you have toilet paper sticking to your shoes or that your underwear is sticking out of your pants (you WERE peeking!). You'll be amazed at the power this hat commands. Wear it proud, wear it loud, it's a one of a kind just like you."
Is that not a hoot?! How do you guys know me so well?!!!
I just love you all. Honestly. I am so lucky. And I don't even need a trip to the emergency room or a fatal disease. Oh me oh my.
THANK YOU crazy tractor girls! You rock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, February 26, 2009


My ravelry friends are the sweetest, most generous loving ladies. Seriously. I got home from Knitty Thursday loaded down with books from Lizabee. She made me a card from recycled trees. It is so beautiful. So there's a dude skulking around at the top of the driveway and the pugs were going berserkers. Turns out its the guy from proflowers- delivering two dozen beautiful roses! From SillyFru and her sock monkey Sassleypoof!

So I'm playing flower diva when the mail guy shows up. He's pissed cause he has to get out of his car.
He does this because meh had three packages! One from Shebear29 which made me laugh because it was just COVERED in packing tape but says "DO NOT CUT OPEN" in huge letters...finally I just sneaked and cut it open. It's a good thing she can't keep a secret so I knew who it was from! Sheila, the little purse is so beautiful! You are just getting great at those! And thanks for the calendar!

Another box was from my sweet friend Marysk and her kittehs, and Mary I'm sorry I didn't call yesterday you know how shy I get about the phone. But OMG, Mary!!! EZ's Knitting Workshop which was on my freking wishlist, a wind-up monkey (go figure) a sweet card, beautiful beaded stitch markers and knitting buttonz, a lovely project bag, and holy crap the most scrumptious skeins of Rowan cocoon that I think I want to replace meh pillows with these. Mary, your generosity stuns me. Thank you so much!

OK if thats not the bomb, I had aNOTHER box. I'm telling ya, these knitting and crochet ladies besides being hilarious and sweet can totally spoil you on your birthday. This box was from my sister in yarn, Manitoba2ct and the card all by itself was killer funny. Two hawt babes (supposedly me n B) one says "Wheres your birthday party at?" and the other says "don't end a sentence with a proposition" so inside the card, same two hawt babes (looks exactly like us irl) first one says "wheres your birthday party at, BITCH"

Ok, Brenda how did you know that toblerone is meh favorite candybar? And where did you find one bigger than, well, that big? Also for those following at home, how did you know I had favorited the Wonderful Wallaby pattern just this morning on yer recommendation?! Thanks for that pattern! The kids are swarming over the saltwater taffy. More pg tips! You guys are getting me addicted to tea. The little batik tea pocket was handmade by B, and I love it and its orangey! Puggle socks! purple yarns! hellokitty tin! Even a piratey game for the horde to play with our sock monkey visitors!

So, OMYGAWD!!!! I love you guys. Really. I do. I'm rotten.

PS: Trooper arrested in SC last night? For Dui. Wearing a dress.
PSS: They best not vote Nick/Norman off tonight or I will be Pissed off. I'm going to go swim in birthday goodies. Faklempt.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Being Old, the Good the Bad and the prezzies

I am so spoiled this year! One of my friends, who likes to be Miss Anonymous, took me and Sister Mary Monkeypants to a spa for my bday over the weekend. Sister Mary Monkeypants loved the spa, especially the bananas. She even had her own massage table.
When I got home I had some exciting mail- presents! Gramma and Grandpa sent a hilarious package with a project bag that I will use to knit secksie things obviously, I mean look at the fabric! Too funny. And this chapstick: Get tight with Christ- Chapstick for Jesus. I love it! It's vanilla. Also candybritches Amndaleigh sent me a pink John Deere Tractor bag!! And yarn! And knit tags! I love my friends.

In other news, the hub reported that puggles were incredibly naughty while I was gone, acting like mating walruses (growling with their mouths open)... more than usual, and that Jolly tried to eat things such as a glass marble, a laundry basket, and magnet, and a lapel pin. Eastie Beastie was so pleased with my return though, she cuddled with her Daddy.

I don't mind turning 41, but I wonder how long my bod will hold up. Seems as though all the people that we know are falling apart. My mother-in-law fell yesterday and broke the ball joint in her hip and is having hip replacement surgery today in Birmingham. I'm encouraging the hub to make the trip to be with her. She really needs some family there. She's not very healthy, has diabetes and stuff. Everyone wish her well please.

Over n Out!

Friday, February 20, 2009

These are a Few of my Favorite Things

Hi, this is Sister Mary Monkeypants here, Mom said I could do the bloggy thing today since I was so helpful and opened the packages for her. I am so excited to let you all know that the Crazy Tractor Ladies Box of Swappy Goodness made it to our house today, and Jolly Bean and I have been busy sorting through the pretty dishcloths, and the fab wooly blobs of yarny stuff from our friend Rover and his Mum. Mom is confused because she says we can't keep all of it. Anyway, more excitement arrived today, there was a box addressed to Mom but I have decided that its meant for Moi, even though you can plainly see the card was a birthday card with a distant cousin posing, and it appears to be from THEGIRLPURLS for a secret valentine! Mom says thegirlpurls is the rawkinest secret valentine EVAR, and I agree! She sent me, I mean Mom, a box of these "pg tips" which Mom says she secretly has been dying to try. Also, a tractor stamp for my friends' passports, and she also sent this hi-larious game for us, called "racing nuns" which has funny things on the back. There's a man in a fancy dress and it says "bash the bishop" and a flying lady tht says "say halo to the angel" and a hand in the sky which says "touch the hand of god" all of which made me and mom giggle. We giggle a lot, I gotta tell you. Even better was my new friend, purlmonkey- who Mom says is the most clever pincushion in the whole world but I told her that he is not only a pincushion but doubles as my teddy bear. TheGirlPurls is our new friend and I want to say: May yarn and chocolate fill your every day!

If that is not exciting enough, there was a box which arrived addressed to Mom and Dad Monkeypants, and it smelled like ciggies and Old Spice, with some sort of whiskey and the box was vibrating. Well, I'm not scared of anything and I decided to open it when Mom wasn't looking. There was a note inside: "Dear Mom & Dad Monkeypants: I met your girl, Sister Mary Monkeypants at a beer chugging contest last week. "belch" She said I was one hot frog and I had a totally rad Harley. I find myself tossed from my pad so to speak. SMMP said I could come hang out with you and the boys. So here I am! I eat anything and only fart when I eat. "Belch" You can call me anything babe just don't call me late for dinner, hear?! Oh yeah, I don't wanna sleep with no pugs!"

Can I just say that I am overjoyed to see Mon Frog again?! He is such a handsome devil, isn't he? We immediately had a burp contest and he ate the box that he arrived in. I am begging Mom to let him stay. She says that he is rude, crude, and must hail from Connecticut, but he told me he's from Canada.

Mom and I love you all tons and tons! Love, SMMP

Baby Surprise Jacket!

Here's my take on this thing- thank goodness for bittlerelly, who advised me that "yeah it's supposed to look like shit until it's finished" or I never would have tried to finish it. Also, the whole thing reminded me of origami. I was not really sure I was even knitting it right until after the Bind Off, when I lined up the button holes. Then like magic, here it is!

The advice that I used was from ravelry Here

1. Finish the row just before “knit center 90” starts. Leave the yarn at the edge.
2. Put the first 34 stitches on a stitch holder
3. With a new yarn (same color or different color) knit 90 stitches.
4. Put the last 34 stitches on a holder.
5. Knit the center 90 stitches until you’re done. Cut the yarn.
6. Put the first 34 stitches back on the needle, use the yarn that’s at the edge, and knit those 34 stitches.
7. Pick up 10 stitches, place a marker, knit the 90, place a marker, pick up another 10 stitches
8. Put the last 34 stitches back on the needle and knit them.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Dinosaurs, dogs and birthday prezzies

Today Ruby sat out in the sun looking so sweet I just had to take her picture. I finished a scarf section for Harry last night, with a dinosaur on it. I hope he can tell that's what it is! Also, exciting news for puggers, I got meh birthday prezzie today- a Denise case!!!! I love my denise circs, holy cow. Yep, knitting knerd.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Sister Mary Monkeypants!

Dear puggerhugger and friends,
Sister Mary Monkeypants visited with me this weekend for a transformative nun-spa experience. We traveled to Concord to the Schell Family Collective (not Convent) where she met BJ and Hannah monkey (as well as Art).
This unruly gang indoctrinated her into the family balloon game.
Even BJ wasn’t sure what she thought of the pandamonium:
Sister Sock Monkey wiped out!
Then she decided to get the heck out of there and climb a nearby tree to escape.
Cookie Bear gave her a warm hug to help her calm down.
Then some serious reflection before surgery and wardrobe changes.
Then it was lip surgery time.
I think she likes her new lips!
And then it was time to don the habit! First there was fitting and pinning…
She also took a break to cuddle with her new friend Art (in his sock monkey pjs)…
Some pictures of her final fashion statement. Note her tail hole and her new piercing!
This is from Lizabee (THANKS LIZABEE!!!!!!!!!!!!)

What is it with me and chicken?

I thought that part of being a part-time jap was the innnate ability to create blissful chicken recipes. But this is the FOURTH time in ten years that I have caught the kitchen on fire trying to make chicken. At least this time I didn't have to call the fire department. All I can think of is "in a vat of chicken fat"

Sunday, February 15, 2009


I'm multi-tasking. I'm determined to finish the Elizabeth Zimmerman baby surprise jacket for Brenda's new granddaughter by the time she arrives in May. It's an easy knit, just a lot of counting. I love the yarn, too. I'm using size 6 circs and Noro Silk garden lite, only the pink and gray parts.
At the same time I cast on 298 stitches for a Boy blanket, using Rowan cashsoft DK. I'm using a pattern called Moises, based on a british baby blanket but much bigger. It looks very soft and comfy.
I need to get going on one of the last two Group 40 scarves also, which I will start probably Monday. It's rainy and cold and the Godfather is on tv and everytime I look up all I see is beautiful red roses. What a great day!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

The Best Valentine

The Best Valentine is the one that your son brings you without anyone telling him to. A close second is one that includes both pugs and cupcakes.
I have a secret admirer! Somebody loves me...wants to kiss me...wants to date me...LOOK! A Dozen red roses and truffles! OMG! Whoever you are, sending you big doggy kisses and licks and hugs and hey thanks for keeping the hub on his toes.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Sock Monkeys Take Over The World

The monkeh in this photo is one of my Tractor Girls' sock monkeys. Apparently there was a plastic surgery consultation involved before the mail out deadline. It is kinda scary how good Joan Rivers looks in this picture.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

John Deere Day!

Today my sock monkey godchild Ladybird mailed me a sweet card and a cute little pin for my birthday! Of course the pin is our sock monkey driving a tractor. Big hugs to Ladybird!!
I took Sister Mary Monkeypants by the local John Deere place. She flirted outrageously with the cashier guy. I think she was just showing off her bloomers, but he let her have a pink tractor umbrella. She also got to pose on the tractor of course. I think she haz a crush on the guy, sheesh.

Sock Monkey Romance

Forget muggles, sock monkeys really know how to carry on a romance. Manitoba2ct's Dharma Marmalade has a suitor...the blogging Noah!

Yesterday Noah got to see Dharma's picture. I am amazed by the creativity, and fun, that my tractor girls exhibit. Stunned actually. Two weeks till sock monkeys are launched all over the world!

If you have no idea what the hell I'm raving about, come on by the Tractor Group. Or, if irritated by senseless babbling, go 'way.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Sock Monkey Bra!

This is, well, every woman should have one of these...

Son #1 at random: "It would be hilarious if at the next inaugaration, the next president farted."

That is all.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Shameless Request for money

Ok, son #3 is doing the jump rope thingey at school. I actually like this one because the money goes to fund research that might just keep his big brother alive longer. So here's the link...

Also, my Dad hates me. Look at this huge chocolate thing he sent the boys for Valentines Day.