Saturday, April 24, 2010

Sock Monkey Politics

Reporting almost live from Asheville, NC this is Indiana Banana bringing you the latest important-type news. First off, Mom has been busy creating the mysterious sock monkey dream date for her secret swap and I'm real jealous of his outfit. I had to go with her to work today pretty much nekkid except for my hat. In related news, work was pretty cool because I met these really tough chicks, one is called Liz Viscious and the other one is Annie Knuckles. Annie is a knitter which you can tell from her awesome tatoos. They like to skate around and bash other girls up and act tough. Honestly I think Mom was charmed. They are doing roller derby in Asheville tonight at the civic center. Go roller derby! Later in the afternoon Mom and her friend L were having lunch when some nice people stopped by with a humongous camera so we went out to say hi. The nice man who was all dressed up decided to interview us on tv. He asked Mom about stuff like Asheville being "quirky" and he seemed kind of obsessed with golf. Mom told him how cool Asheville is and how excited everyone is that our President has decided to vacation here and that it seems like a good idea for him to demostrate fitness and love of the outdoors by relaxing at golf. She also invited Obama's wife "flotus" to come downtown shopping and offered to teach her to knit. Maybe she'll make a sock monkey! Would that be SMotus? Anyway after the camera was off we posed for pictures till Mom found out who they were. This guy in the picture with us is called "Ed Henry" and Mom had to sit down on the floor after L told us that Ed would show our interview on CNN to "millions" of people. Gee I hope my friend Noah will watch us! Mom hopes that Obama sees the interview. I am not sure I want the POTUS to see me nekkid though. Maybe Mom should knit me some pants in case I get my own fan club or something. Love, Indiana B.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Unexpected Blessings

I wasn't expecting a Holy day. My mind was full of peeps, jellybeans and thoughts of Uncle Wiggly and his dear friend the Easter Bunny whispering in the new grass outside of our house this morning. You all know how much delight I receive almost daily from the whimsy and silliness around me. Anyway, I went to church this morning so that son #2 could help hide easter eggs for the children. I should go more often, and I always resolve to do that whenever I go but I was again struck by how unexpectedly blessed I feel while I am there. First I got to hug my sweet friend Lizabee, and wish her and her little family a Happy Easter. Then another gift- I walked into the foyer and one of my very favorite customers came right up to me- a lovely friend who's knitting is always so creative and here she was, a member of UU! The service was pretty good too. There was a poem by Mary Oliver about a big black bear that I need to look up and read over, and a good sermon about Jesus and hope and spring. The best blessing of all was the Easter egg activity that we do every year. Yes the children get candy, but this is even better- each adult gets a plastic egg and during the service we are invited to write a blessing for a child and put it into the egg. Mark said to imagine, if we were that child, what blessings we might like to recieve. My heart opened, and I wrote "For you, love, hugs, flowers, chocolate, warmth, peace, cartoons, happiness, comfort, toys, peace, sweet dreams, joy"
Then I sat and listened to the music and realized how many tender hearts were uplifted this morning and that everywhere people were feeling hopeful and reverent and miraculous.

This was enough of a gift but it got better. In order to understand better, a small story- I've been struggling lately with my snark. I like to take the laughing Buddha approach in my adventures with people, but there are times when I lose my balance and laughing with the world feels more like poking fun at it. In a mean way. It has been bothering me lately that my irritations have turned into a snarkfest, and although funny there is a part of me that wants to go on a snark diet. Story over.
So after the service, as the children were hunting their eggs outside, we adults went into Sandburg Hall to socialize and find the eggs that the children had hidden for US. I opened my egg, purple of course, and was delighted to receive such a blessing- I like to think that it is not just a sweet, which it definately is, but also a phrophetic, hopeful guide for my springtime: "YOU ARE NICE"

I hope I will be. A little child will guide me.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Sister Mary Monkeypants Gets Mischevious

Who am I kidding, "gets" mischevious! Her middle name is mischevious. Sister Mary Mischevious Monkeypants. So she did call me from Oklahoma the other day, pining for a seder. I tried to explain to Kathy that they should open the door for Elijah (she thought I meant while she was at work) and that Matzoh was like a giant cracker, but she asked would it be good with bacon on top. SMMP decided she would just start some junk up on April Fools Day instead. She snuck onto the phone AGAIN, and had some really specific pranks for me to carry out: I had to yarn bomb the street lamp in front of Purl's. Also, she told Ward to lock the front door and leavea note for the horde after school. The note said "Moved- left no forwarding address- Occupant" but I left the back unlocked. She had me leave a horrible picture on Lindsey's computer desktop but lets not go there. I had to buy Merino this GIANT bone, twice as big as he is. She even impersonated me and managed to piss off the prude at Kilwins. She actually called there and demanded "chocolate poo" for April Fools Day for the horde, and they got offended and informed her that they do NOT create "inappropriate" things. Hey lady, EVERBODY POOPS (yelled Sister Mary Monkeypants). She has been one busy sock monkey. I'm exhausted. The only prank I got was Mattie pretending to have an F. Which is kinda funny.