Welsh Sock Pirate Invades Whimmy Diddle Competition

I've never been to the Folk Art Center on the Blue Ridge Parkway before, so it was high time I dressed as a pirate, and dragged Ward and our visiting sock monkey to the Appalachian Heritage Weekend's 29th Annual World Gee Haw Whimmy Diddle Competition. I'm still not sure, but we think the event involves a stick of wood and spinning and noise. We DO know that the prizes include a moonpie and that is the important thing. I'm pretty sure that we intimidated the other people who apparently had no idea that it was National Talk Like a Pirate Day. I found a pitiful hand-knit sock similar to the one pictured here, with a price tag of $83.50. When I asked the snooty Guild woman -who made the typo?- she informed me that the sock (ie Christmas stocking) was handknit. I told her the socks I was wearing were also handknit. So therefore if I went home and whipped up some thick ribbed red n white socks I could sell 'em there for $83.50 EACH?! She looked at me and my monkey, in our pirate bandannas, and tried reallllly hard to come up with lots of vague snotty reasons why we could not possibly be in her Guild. AS IF!
We did have fun watching the sheep shearing, and Mary Mwinci rolled around in the roving just to make y'all jealous. She thought the Gee Haw people were a bit serious. So I'm off to furiously knit some thick red socks.